Rejection.

Rejection is very tought for me to deal with for reason uknown.Just the PURE feelingof having that anxity throws into a place of no return.Crushing under gravity is the closes i can explaining it, it runs my life.I do everything in fear of ethier being rejected or I will try everything i can not to feel on rejection (i belive) I dont fully ubderstand but the feeling turn me into a complely different person and it has nothing to do with anyone but me.I want to blame someone so bad just not to face what ever rejection is coming, it throws me out of control when i think i have the most of it. I Hate coming to a point in my life where i have to make a descion and im almost forced in a one sided conclustion.So much of me wants to lash out but i know better to do the wrong thing out of anger but that also make reject my own feelings in a way??