Setting limits is not treason...

The inner work is not easy, but it is necessary and worth every step we take forward and up to move forward. And with help it becomes more bearable.

One of the questions that I hear most among my people when we go to train for self-care is: do positive affirmations help to raise self-esteem?

And my answer is always clear: no, not as you think. Affirmations, used as motivation, can be useful, but if you use them hoping that they will magically change your life, they only sink you deeper.

Why? Because every time we repeat something that we don't feel as real, instead of pushing, it frustrates us. It's like shouting "I'm happy" to a mirror while feeling an emptiness.

It doesn't work like that.

Self-esteem is not built with phrases, it is built with internal work. Step by step. The first thing: take an honest stock of who you are.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love, a declaration that your well-being is a priority. It's not about building barriers, but about establishing clear boundaries that protect your energy, well-being and emotions.

Setting limits is learning to say "no" without guilt and "yes" to what really nourishes and adds. It is the ability to recognize how far we can give without emptying, to communicate firmly what we accept and what we do not, and to defend our personal space in a world that is often invaded even by the family.

We have to look at our characteristics with a magnifying glass, and ask ourselves what good things are there in me? What do we like? What not? Recognize the strengths we have, but also the areas that will help us improve.

Without judgment, and with truth.

Then, we need to start enhancing what makes us good and working on what doesn't. That's the key. With clear tools, not with magic, nor shortcuts.

Self-esteem is not a goal that is reached all at once, it is also intelligence, and intelligence is seeking help, it is a constant process of knowing, valuing and growing about oneself. But it is a path that can be traveled. Sometimes, a conversation can open doors, and many times it costs, but realizing it, through the help that we ask for, especially professional, opens doors that we did not know existed.

The culture of leaving something or someone behind is a survival technique.

Leaving behind, letting go of what I love the most in order to love myself more means sometimes, being able to choose and let go of who I love, saying goodbye to a place that was once home or leaving behind a life that no longer does me good.

Setting limits is not treason. It is to build the space we need to flourish, away from what turns us off, like this beautiful last full moon, from my balcony in my house from my city, Maracaibo, Venezuela.

Janitze 🌹