Back and Forth

Each Thursday for the last three, I head into the city to see a psychotherapist. I have enjoyed this, not because it has helped, but it is nice to have someone to talk to, who is interested in some of the same things as myself, even if I disagree with her, or she with me.

Her disagreements today were focused on my opinion about depression and bullying at schools, as the first I think is over-prescribed, and the second is rarely a problem, and more likely, necessary for healthy development.

Depression these days in my opinion is largely used as a copout to just avoid things someone doesn't like. We aren't very good at being uncomfortable these days, which creates a lot of causes for discomfort, and there for, a general negative experience. It is akin to the overindulgence in unnatural sweeteners, that provide a level of sweet unavailable in nature, in everything. Compared to the sweetener, nature's sweetness like a strawberry, doesn't taste very sweet. If your skin is made from paper, it gets sliced easily.

Which segues into bullying, because we have created an environment that is so safe, people can't deal with not only bullies, but anything negative. A parent in their nineties dies, and there family think they were taken too soon. We used to live in a world (and some still do) with very high infant mortality and dangerous working environments, making death ever-present and not only for the elderly. Our "out of sight, out of mind" tendencies mean that when it does come knocking, it is a surprise.

Similarly, take bullying out if schools completely, and the skin doesn't thicken, the strategies to deal personally and interpersonally don't form, so when there is a asshole boss as an adult to handle, it comes as a shock and there are no tools and skills available. A situation develops with high discomfort, and high emotional valence.

Instead if normalizing the variability of the world and how our expectations are rarely going to be met, we have normalized a fantasy. A fantasy that says the world will provide safety and certainly, and we deserve to get what we want, and how we want it delivered. Everything is on-demand and we have become demanding.

Entitled

Many people seem to believe that their work should fulfill them emotionally, and that they should only have to do what they enjoy. They feel that security is a human right, even though they themselves will not be a barrier to protect others. They seem to think that happiness is a fundamental need, and without it, nothing can be done.

But since most are so unhappy because they have conditioned themselves to be sensitive to their emotional state and are always in discomfort, they have an excuse to be disappointed by everything.

And not do anything.

We are collectively in a state of denial. We want to believe that the world is getting better, even though society is falling apart. We can make claims to technological advancement that keeps us alive longer, but a longer life doesn't mean a better life. Without social wellbeing, we end up in a world of destruction.

We avoid all of this though, and rather focus our attention on the irrelevant nonsense like which politician is better or worse, or which toilet is suitable to use for a created identity. We have designed a world of trivial consumption and preoccupation, while the things that actually matter for our wellbeing, keep getting reduced and falling to the wayside.

The world is not a nicer place to live, and people are getting worse. There is so little compassion and grace in individuals, as they spend their energy maximising themselves at any cost, even if what they are getting in return for their effort, doesn't make them any better, and usually worse. The chase for likes and follows from strangers, while personal relationships fall apart is an epidemic. And the more isolated become, the less healthy in mind, body and spirit - our emotions.

No wonder people are feeling depressed.

But are they actually depressed, or is the symptom getting a false positive? I don't know if it matters at the end of the day, but I think it does. Maybe a lot of the people who are depressed are like all the kids with ADHD diagnoses, they don't have it. Sure, they are exhibiting some of the common traits, but maybe a lot of it are side-effects of the lifestyles they lead, the constant stare at screens, the disconnection from real-world relationships, the inability to commit, and a hypersensitivity, to how they feel.

Maybe we have calibrated our emotional senses too tightly, which is why we are being triggered by everything. Emotions are like a smoke detector, but if they are made to give the warning with too little input, frying an egg will set it off. Our emotions are on a hair-trigger, screaming at everything, even if no one is listening. And the more we scream, the less people listen.

Into the void.

Keep on talking.
We'll get there one day.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]