Week 16 MemoirMonday: Difficult Changes of My Life's Journey

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sarimanok1.2 K8 hours agoPeakD7 min read

It's a difficult change when you're already used to your surroundings where you grew up with but you have no choice but to go with the tide where the rest goes. That's always the case when you're young and nowhere to go. Way back in 1972, the entire Islands of the Philippines were placed under Martial law, effective Sept. 21, 1972 to be exact. The clash between the two major religions driven by insubordination were the main reason for the unrest. It was already written in the bible since time immemorial that an ordinary human being like me often wonder when this conflict would end. It's a difficult change!

Have you noticed guys, it is religion that divides us! It's compared to the great islands that separates us by the big bodies of water. I am like a speck of dust or a mere dot of the humongous population of mother earth!

On the other hand, the uprising was a blessing in disguise on my part because at last, I was free from the claws of my so-called family who never considered me as one, but rather treated me like a slave, to work for them having grown under their protection if you consider that as one. The food that I have eaten held a big price indeed! I would have preferred to grow up in a shelter given the choice. That's the sad part of it when you're young and helpless! I kept on saying to myself that one day, I will not be like this when I grow up and I will go find my real parents and ask them why they have abandoned me, why I was born this way and suffer the consequences! It's so unfair in the real essence of words beyond compare!

But God is so good! I was not forsaken at all. Despite those hardships, I still survived. Indeed, I am a survivor! I prayed for guidance when I decided to go with the couple (my cousin) to tend to their kids while they take their master's degree on that summer time. That was after the death of my uncle when I was 18.

We lived in an apartment where the owner accepted transient boarders. It so happened that our neighbors were friendly and by luck, she saw my situation. She said that there's a free vocational school sponsored by the Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church in Caloocan City, Metro Manila. She said there were different courses offered that might interest me, urging me further not to miss this opportunity. She said "Sayang ka eh, ang ganda mo pa naman!" ( It's a waste and you're beautiful) She meant that it's a wasted effort by just taking care of those kids, leaving me to stagnate when I have more opportunities outside to develop myself and use my education instead. I was convinced and asked my cousin to allow me to enroll that semester and they agreed. I was automatically accepted to take the secretarial course and took the two main subject in stenography and Typing since I am already done with the basic subjects when I was in college. I only needed the two so I can apply as a secretary. It only took me one semester to master the two subjects and the admin gave me their consent to apply for work. I joined their graduation years after!

That was the turning point of my life. When the couple went home to Mindanao, they asked me about my plan and I told them to be left behind to work.

This was my first journey. It was a difficult change of my life but I tried hard with perseverance to be what I wanted to achieve in life. I've worked as a secretary then to administrative secretary and Liaison Officer which was quite challenging.

Time flies swiftly by, it was time for our graduation. My classmates were ecstatically excited to see me. They've seen my big transformation since the last time we've seen each other and yet there they are still on their first step! My teacher was happy to see me and set me as an example of a person with determination in life. Our mother professor congratulate me as well. Actually, she was one of my mentors. One day while I was on my way to our classroom, she called me to her office. I was scared what I've done wrong to be called to the guidance office! Instead, she offered me her counseling and motivation. She may have observed my aloofness I guess. She told me that the course I enrolled meant that I am going to face a lot of people in the future so I need to open up a bit. She said Smile! Don't act like you're carrying the burden of the whole world! You have the potential to be a good secretary! And she was overwhelmed when she saw me. She hugged me. They were surprised since she's known to be terror in the school campus! Lol

I looked for an escort for our baccalaureate for the church mass. My cousin introduced his friend to me. He said that he's handsome and we will be a good pair for the event. They waited after my office hours and we were properly introduced. I guess the feeling was mutual because that was the beginning of our friendship which ended our two-year writing love letters while he was on board his ship and got married thereafter.

We agreed to build our home in their hometown at the Negros Island in Canlaon City where I've also worked as a clerk-stenographer and promoted as Board Secretary at the Sangguniang Panlungsod of the city government. We were blessed with 5 beautiful kids. With our growing family, my husband asked me to stop working so I can tend to kids since he's more than capable to support us. Again, it was a difficult change since I got used to do office work but there are decisions that needs priorities so I chose the latter. I was still able to work though with my prowess in sewing and making handicrafts which was part of my self development as well!

There were lots of difficult changes, I've crossed high and low waters! My eldest daughter died at 18 on Nov. 27 1997, and my husband died last Sept. 29, 2012 of cardiac arrest due to complicated ailments, followed by my eldest 5 mo's after at the age of 32, due to cardiac arrest. It was a mind bugging experience, right? But thinking it over after such a whirlwind tragedy which almost took my sanity away, I begun to accept that everything happens for a reason, hurting it may be! I am still thankful for the borrowed life of my kids. I am still thankful and ever grateful that each one of them left me one offspring to remind me of them.