I still remember the joy that filled the air whenever Christmas time approaches like this. It was always a great feeling because it's holiday season and we get to travel home for the Christmas and new year celebrations.

A photo of my mum and aunties together with our late grandparents

A photo of my Dad, uncles and grandparents

It was a time when we gathered together and get to meet with loved ones whom we probably have not seen all year round. We got to see our cousins and catch up on the latest trends. We get to go hiking, visit neighbors, share gifts and have lots of family dinners together.

A throwback photo of me in the woods with my cousin

Cousins day out. A throwback photo

Another exciting moment for me was when we light up the Christmas tree. Because we all live in separate locations, we arrived on different dates. But the Christmas tree lighting was usually done on the 23th of December. By then all or almost all of us were home so it was extremely fun.

Also, because it is a larger family whenever we gather, we would slaughter a cow and chickens on Christmas eve and certain people were put in charge of pastries like doughnuts and chinchin. The day before Christmas used to be a very busy one. We always worked late into the night.

Although we slept late, we would wake up very early in the morning to pray and give thanks to God for another opportunity to be together and for everything good thing we enjoyed throughout the year. After payer, we shared our gifts and head out to cook fresh meals for the celebration. My aunty always says "Christmas day is a day to eat and be merry!" And that's exactly what we did always.

It does not end on Christmas day alone. We make the same preparation for the new year celebrations as well. It was usually a sad moment when the celebrations were over and we all had to travel back to our various destinations. We used to with it was possible for us to remain and continue to celebrate all year round.

This is how it was throughout my childhood. The excitement was always top-notch. I particularly enjoyed eating native delicacies that were best prepared in my home town.
Well, it is not the same anymore.

The feeling of excitement and joy has been replaced with the feeling of fear and uncertainty. The idea of traveling home is now a thing to dread because of all the terror that has happened in recent times.

Houses razed with fire

Although I'm still happy about the season, I am also scared.
Northern Nigeria has faced series of terrorist incidents over the years. But in 2022, these incidents were recorded for the first time in my home town. It happened in surrounding areas, but never got to my home town until the year 2022.

It was a terrible nightmare that occurred more than once. Many houses were burned completely, a lot of people lost their loved ones and since then, home has not been a safe place to be. I still have relatives back there, but I feel so scared to go because I'm not sure of my safety and that of my child.

Most families lost everything.

Thankfully, No member of my own family was harmed during any of the attacks.

Even though things have changed negatively, I still pray and hope that it gets better. I wish that the insecurity would end very soon so we can enjoy time with the family again at Christmas.

Thank you for stopping by.

• All images are mine