Strengthening Emotional Bond with my Spouse

When I think about my life as a husband, I have always wondered how I can manage myself as a husband to my wife while we were still newly married, Looking back, I have always wanted to be a loving, caring, and faithful husband to my wife. Yet, this was when I had a lot of friends who kept saying that for me to be a good husband. I should care for and love my wife. But, how do you do that when it comes to husband and wife, the cultural norms differ and sometimes the likes and interests in life do not meet, that was a bit difficult for me.

I was always very active person. I used to work all the time so that I could make good money to take care of my wife and kids. Most of the time I wanted to say that to love and cherish a woman is enough to be a good husband. It dawned on me gradually that being a husband to a woman is more than loving and taking good care of that woman.

Learning a habit that enhances love is a complicated task, but it is a task that is worth it in the long run. In finding ways which will help make a habit that strengthens love, I have come up with five simple habits. It makes no difference whether you are in a long-term relationship or in a short-term one, you can still make a habit that strengthens love. First of all, you have to know what love is.

Love is an emotion that somehow grow in the heart when thinking about one's spouse. There is that warmth and affection and tenderness and concern. It is a connection that is felt by two people. Hence, thinking of one’s spouse also creates an impression that there is a heart linkage between oneself and the spouse, Making her love affection fill one’s heart.

Most men would just say things like: “I love my wife, even when she constantly nag me.” or “I love my wife even though she never understand me.” or “I love my wife even if she’s annoying, imperfect or workaholic.” As I frequently come across people making such currently, I am not bothered, in most instances, such statement captures my attention. I have always thought that love has to be ideal or perhaps this is how love is portrayed in movies. But, upon getting to know what love really is like, I realized, love isn't perfect. And that is why I have to seek how to unlearn some habits, and learned new habits that enhance the growth of my relationship with my spouse.

What are those habits that I have learnt that helped me to strengthen the relationship with my wife?

I have learned the skill of being better in speaking my mind.

One of the most important habit that I have learned that helped in my growing connection with my wife was how to better speak my mind and express my feelings. I have become more open and expressive whenever I engage my wife in a conversation. I used to be scared to express myself since I was afraid that my wife would not appreciate me or the manner of expression. Nonetheless, once I decided to loosen up and express myself I found my wife encouraging me to share how I felt. Joyce would know when I am not happy and would respond positively. It has therefore aided in strengthening the bond in our two hearts.

When you think about your spouse you can assert that there exists a flow of energy connecting your heart and that of your spouse. And even now at some point I will recall back that feeling whenever I am low, and it lifts me up. I have also come to realized that when I am sad my wife would feel it and try to come to me and talk to me.

I learned to share my plans with my wife

There used to be a few things I would tell my wife. However, when I learned to share my plans with my wife, we could spend more time together. It helped us to plan for the future which aided in making our bond even stronger. We were able to say on how to achieve our dreams, and it was able to be helpful in keeping us on track. Most of the time, I considered
it unreasonable for my wife to always want to know where I am going and what I am up to. But when I was able to open up to her, I discovered that what the woman has always be supposed to do was to get to know me well so as to serve me better. Improving this relationship built us even more closely.

The closer we become, the more we are able to reach out for love even in absence of the other party. Love was there in each one of us; even when we were fighting with one another, love was pushing us to forgive the other. Even when we are friends or when we are fighting with our partners we are able to hold the love that is in us.

I learned to listen to my wife

Before I was married, listening to a woman was something I viewed as being weak. Part of the reason for this was partly that it was instilled in me that listening is for girls and boys not for men and women. Nevertheless, once I began to listen to my wife, I started appreciating that she has a lot to add towards my success and wellbeing and I began to understand better. This time, I will do my best to pay attention to my wife.

I have come to understand and appreciate my wife's emotions and things that she wants. Previously, I would put effort to please my wife, but her call for my focus is something I sometimes ignored. However, once I started to listen to my wife, I understood it was quite important for her to feel better too. I always tended to look at the busy work as an excuse to ignore her. I began to notice that my wife looked less cheerful than she should at any time I ignored her. I have a much better listening ear to my wife and treat her nicely and appropriately.

As I have become more aware of my wife’s opinions and emotions, I have noticed that she is greatly beneficial to my success and happiness. Protection and empowerment have usually been associated with manhood in my former notions even though I have come to unlearn such notions through most men being in extremely nurturing roles. In my case, I have come to accept that there is a lot that I can improve on, and till the day when I die, I have aspirations of growing up to be the best man possible. The more that I have learned how to listen to my wife is the more that I have been a good man.

Feeling the warmth that one’s spouse gives can only happen when one understands one’s wife. You are able to take care of her and show her that she is valued. This will help draw your hearts closer to one another.

I learned to appreciate my wife

My understanding of a man was very simplistic: a man is a man because he is the one who provides for the family. Sure, I recognized my wife along with other women have many important functions; however, I never thought that my wife had much to give. I failed to see how she was helping me in achieving success and comfort. The more I have come to appreciate my wife, the more appreciation I had about myself.

In my early years in marriage, I would spend most of my nights watching television. I was convinced that I was better than an average man because I was successful in business. But, after I learned to appreciate myself, I realized I still have a long way to go.

When you learn to appreciate your wife, you even understand her better. When you are seeking to appreciate her, you can be able to love her more. This helps you in bridging the gap of separation between your hearts. If you learn to respect your spouse, you will find it easy to unify your hearts. Your wife will be able to know how deep your love runs. For instance, when you respectfully treat your wife, she will know how much your love towards her is.

I learnt to respect my wife

I used to think that respecting my wife seemed to be weakness on my part. In my mind respecting my wife was the same as saying due respect words “please” and “thank you” each day but this is not all. Respecting a woman is one thing and it is very important as husbands, but if you want to respect your wife, you have to do even more. The first thing that I used to believe in was that the world is a competitive place. A woman needs to know that I am the man who wears the crown and duly expect her to respond with all the respect I think I deserve. I have taken for granted her respect towards me, most of the time. But when I figured out how to value my wife, I began to view the world in a different perspective.

When you give respect to your wife, you are now able to regard yourself as one deserving of that respect. This is beneficial in helping you develop further as a man. Respect your wife, and she in turn will respect you. If you have self-respect, you are in a good position to give that same respect to your spouse.

Final Thoughts

As I go deeper into the life of my wife, it has become apparent to me that she possesses a lot of goodness that is out of my sight. She is a tough woman; who has endured all the storms of life. She is a loving lady who is very supportive and has stood to help me in any way needed. In the past, I used to assume that I do not belong to the rest of the people and that I was one of a kind on Earth. And now I understand that I am not the only one.

I used to consider that men are meant to be the stronger gender and that it is the man’s duty to protect women, which is not the case.

And just the same way these 5 habits that I have learned have helped me to improve the bond that I have with my wife, I believe that these habits can also assist you improve your relationship with your spounse.