HiveNaija Weekly Prompt - I really Like older men (here's my not so popular opinion)
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I am a young woman who has been glued to soap operas since I was 9 and books when I turned 10. I have read multiple books on age-gaps and reverse. There is always a certain maturity that surrounds men and women of this group. They know what they want and they don't bother beating about the bush.
Disclaimer: Before you read further, I'd like to mention here that I'm still a girl in my twenties who is still learning a lot. Which means most of my "young opinions" (which I may laugh at when I'm older) may not appeal at all to you. So, if you're easily triggered, stop reading now!
I would like to say that my Nigerian men lack sense but we all know how untrue that is. Most men lack sense and it has nothing to do with nationality but experience. I am a girl who is into older men and I am not ashamed to say I have been accused of liking older men because of daddy issues. Okay, then.
That might be the case but let us not forget the fact that girls develop earlier than boys. Maturity, responsibility and emotionally. Especially in African countries like this one that make women the center of all things pressure.
Growing up as a girl, the only child, with a background like mine, I was never so mingly with kids my age because all of them had complete families with siblings and whatnot. I had to do everything myself bearing in mind that I had only my mom.
I grew up with a different mindset and a strong sense of responsibility which most young men of this generation lack. Guys my age think life revolves around the most trendy things and the most packed up clubs. This is not assumption. Come to Nigeria and see. You'll understand why most of this boys really go into yahoo. It is for no other reason than unhealthy and unreasonable competition. I have been approached by many of them to be used for their evil schemes. I am a beautiful young lady with an alluring voice they have said. But no thank you.
It doesn't mean the ladies are any different but I am writing from my point of view. Dating (I will not go into marriage at this point because the future is still coming) a man 25 and below is a hard no for me. One way to send me away faster is telling me you're 25 or less. Eww. Their reasoning is different. I am saying this because I have gone out with a few and have sat down with a lot of them.
Using myself as an example, these boys forget that a woman like me cannot give them the whole day and night and then, they act up and throw nonsensical tantrums. They are emotionally unstable, easily swayed and have no sense of responsibilities whatsoever. Everything is gold-digging to them and they perceive sex (something so intimate and priceless) as normal. Again...ewwww!
They have no respect to offer and expect a woman to submit when they put nothing on the table (you're seen as a gold digger not a woman once you say your problems). They are also very selfish. And they are always right.
Now, like I said, this is my opinion. You can agree or disagree but I have sat down enough and spoken a lot to men like this to know (thanks to previous jobs). I have met only a few men of this age who understand the true meaning of the word "MAN". Very few.
I am drawn to the age of experience rather than the number. I think it has been established that women are emotional beings and men are logical ones. Bring that two together, there is a balance. The woman feels while the man thinks. When there are two women in a relationship, it is a recipe for disaster.
Very few men under the age of thirty understand the term 'discipline'. They lack it. In every sense. They always want to impress and they live based on society's definition of success. Very few men under thirty in my country don't smoke. Hooge turn off.
It still doesn't mean that men of 30+ are all sensible. Most of them are not especially the konk Nigerians. Let me not even go there. I have met those I can vouch for. They are not flawless but they understand why values, principles and respect is important. They understand what responsibilities mean.
Doesn't mean I am flawless either. I am still growing and learning. But I will make it plain as day that I am into older men because they have experienced more than I have (they have a lot to teach and I have a lot to learn) and some of them understand life a lot more that boys my age. One thing I will never do is settle with someone I can't respect. A man I can respect must have proven himself worthy of it. Which is not a matter of money but in regards to his knowledge abundance and his patience (because I be werey).
I keep telling my mother, I have been stressed enough as a young lady to be stressed as a woman. Before you do it, I'll cut you off (with your big head).
I have read a lot entries into this prompt and most of them said all I would have said initially. This is just my personal opinion. I stand to be corrected but with what my eyes don see, e choke.
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