I Call Him Dad

My father-in-law came up for a visit from Tennessee this last weekend and stayed with family here in Indiana for a few days. The primary purpose for his visit was to meet his first great-grandchild.

It was a bitter sweet visit because my wife lost her mother, his wife, this last December. So Mom, which is what I called her, sadly missed the birth. Her presence was felt though, and could be seen in the faces of the family members in my nieces hospital room.

After some time with his new great grandbaby, Dad, which is what I call him, drove the 2 hours from my nieces home town to visit us for a couple of days. I always enjoy his visits and our time together.

Today, after he departed and while we waited for him to make the six hour drive back to his home in Tennessee, we waited patiently, yet worried until he called to say he made it. I pondered making this post the entire time. While thinking about this man and what he meant to me, it came back to why I feel so comfortable with him. So much so that I call him Dad.

Well, I guess it comes down to all we have in common. Yeah, I am married to his daughter, well step-daughter really (more to come on that), but there is much more.

We both are from the same rural small town area of Indiana and both started working on farms at a young age, him younger than me when he started. We both had drunks as fathers and have drunks in our families still. We are both war veterans, he served in Vietnam and me in Iraq. And when I was younger I worked non-stop and couldn't sit still when I wasn't. He is the same way to this day and is 78 years old. Most of all, we love our families dearly, more than life itself.

It is not so much the events or situations described above that have made us close. It is the many conversations we have had about them that have made us close. Sharing intimate feelings about those said events and situations seems to be almost therapeutic for both of us.

We are able to share funny stories of our youth working on farms. Even ugly stories about our fathers' abhorrent behaviors when they were drinking could end up in a laugh or two. Fish stories prevail in most of our conversations because he loves to fish as much, if not more than I do. We spend some time talking about our time in the military and then the war while drinking a beer or two.

There are other activities and things we love to do and converse about, especially our kids, and his grandkids. But most of all we just enjoy hanging out with each other. Sometimes, we can spend several minutes just sitting enjoying the silence with each other.

This is the type of relationship I always wished I had with my own father, but it was never to be. However, I have it with him and thankful for it. Tomorrow night my wife will clal him like she does every night. They will talk on speaker phone for an hour or maybe three. I will chime in occasionally. At the end of the call we will say good bye and I will say...

...I LOVE YOU DAD and he will say I LOVE YOU TOO.

Thanks for reading,
Joe

_{Note: Image source is from wife's iPhone. Taken at Niagra Falls, New York, USA}

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