The word of gord: COM19 second entry

We often talk about sacrifices and how important they are to a particular cause. Sacrifice is actually a relative term, asking me to sacrifice a goat to Beelzebub isn't going to be the same as asking @amirtheawesome1 to; to me, its just a farm animal/sexual partner where as to him its probably a family member. Life as we know it is filled with sacrifices we unconsciously make to further purpose. Thousands, nay, I dare say even billions of men relinquish their exclusive rights to wank themselves off and end up eloping with women or sticking it up another guy's butt(see also vibrators and bestiality).

As I've been trying to point out for some time and equally reach the 300 word limit required to get @wafrica upvote, we make a lot of these every day and for me, I make a personal, unceremonious effort to be regular on this platform, actually, people like @holybranches @pangoli @jeline @bhoa and others in my country make the same effort into being available here.

Nigeria is my cuntry, a Nigerian musician aptly described that subsaharan nation as a place not lacking in criminals. The things that happen in this country is masked by the facade/brave face put up by most people you come in contact with often borne out of false hope given to them by religious leaders, horoscope or the government; the basis of our happiness is bullshit.

So back to the topic, sacrifices and I'll like you to get a tissue(to wipe your semen tears) and play out this shitnario out in your mind, empathise for a moment but don't get too deep as to start feeling sorry because that's when I'll sucker you into giving me money.

So here we are, a Thursday in my life and there's not been any electricity for the past three days. For some of you, this only happens when there's a natural disaster, zombie apocalypse or when you tinker with your fuse box but for us, its "normal". Actually, getting " light" as we call it here between 8-12 hours a week is a luxury in many areas, mine included. I take no pleasure in painting my country in a bad light(I made a punchline out of it) but its a sad reality, so any time you see a Nigerian on steemit, give that fella a handjob hug and appreciate the beans he's spilling. Charging phones and systems for us is a big deal.

If you think that electricity is our only problem then you're as wrong as @jerrybanfield's nipple. One key thing required to participate on steemit is the internet and while we must appreciate that we're out of the caveman era in our history, we're still relatively behind. On extremely good days, we get internet speeds of up to 1.5mbs that last for a few seconds before dropping to the regular 200-700kbs fluctuation. You don't know pain until you spend 5 minutes trying to load your steemit page or 5 hours to upload a short video on YouTube or the fucking hassle it is to even stream a damn dtube/dlive clip. I deserve some accolade for not spamming video bloggers. Oh and its mighty expensive too. We don't have the privilege of browsing with "WiFi", we depend on mostly 3G internet from our mobile devices that costs anywhere between 1knaira(about $3.2) to 6knaira(19.2$) monthly on slow internet that doesn't actually last up to a month.
Sometimes I stare at my room bulb and fantasize how a world with constant electricity and quality internet would be, then I get bit by a mosquito that sucks me(literally) back to reality. This is our challenge, yet we keep going, constantly trying to make more of the little we were dealt, its really tedious and fucked up but that's probably why God gave us bigger dicks to distract us from all this shit.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to feed starving kids locked up in my basement(or just pay their ransom), please vote comedyopenmic as witness in the steemit.com/~witnesses page.

The introduction to the original post is here:https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-19
I'd like to nominate @nairadaddy because I like him and @ejemai just because to participate in this madness